"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no help at all." -Dale CarnegieI ended up going to bed early last night so I ended up getting a lot of sleep in. I was so exhausted from yesterday. I woke up feeling great! I managed to get some studying done, started my paper for school, mowed, and bathed Loki. I caught myself singing along to the music I had on which I hadn’t done in so long- and I LOVE to sing. (I took voice lessons when I was younger and was in a band hehe)Husband went down to Waco today which is like two hours away and then he is back up here at his school because he has to do a speech about his kids and the program. He will not be home until very late. He and I had a discussion last night about Meg said yesterday. He suggested why don’t I get more active within his school and program more so then I already am. I said it might be a great idea but I would need to think about where I would fit. He called me today on his way back from Waco and he told me he spoke with the state director of Skills USA. He told her I was looking to get more involved and the woman (who I met at the BBQ we had for his kids) jumped out of her seat excited. She said they needed someone like me badly! The woman suggested I judge events, assist the kids etc. Dylan said she would call me to talk to me directly. I almost cried. As much as I would LOVE to do all that I can hardly leave the house or my comfort zones without a panic attack. I cannot even go to the farmers market and sell stuff. I have to send my husband to do so. What damn planet does he live on?! Doesn’t he realize how messed up I am?! He said, “I didn’t commit you to anything…” Uh…yes you did!!! That woman is going to call me looking for someone and what do I say?! “I am sorry I am stupid and moronic and my craziness won’t let me do the stuff you need me for….thanks for letting me waste your time!” I am so angry with him. I know in his head it made perfect sense. I also know he had very good intensions. Honestly I don’t think he understands a single damn thing I am going through. That in it self I think is what hurts the most. He probably thinks I can “get over” this through sheer will power. Well if I could I would and I wouldn’t be discussing this right now. It’s become very clear to me…that I am on my own in all this. Its nothing against Husband it’s just his brand of help though wrapped in good intensions isn’t what I need right now. I love him to pieces and I love all he has done for me but I know what I need and that’s not the type of help he has to offer.  ~sighs~ I am going to try to make the rest of my day into a better one....Thanks everyone for you great comments and support. They mean a lot and I am forever grateful for each one of you! ~Bright Blessings~Rea