“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” - Maria Robinson Today:Ugh I ended up staying up later then I initially intended due to a really great movie that was on TV. It was a gem to find and I enjoyed watching it very much. It was called “Picture Brides” and stared the girl that played “pumpkin” in the movie “Memories of a Geisha” Anyways, very good movie, glad I stayed up to watch it, a little worn out today. I woke up this morning and it was HOT in the house. So I closed all the windows and flipped on the AC. I miss the North this time of year. Ohio would be so alive with colors and smells. Autumn- I love it. However, here in Texas there really isn’t a distinct change in seasons. I got up a little tooooo late today so I listened to just a little bit of music to wake me and I instantly went to studying. I managed to get a lot done but now I am taking a break. I could feel my brain slowly frying.Evening:Husband I think is still in total denial. He is basically dragging his feet about getting me a doctors appointment, counseling or something. He wants to check with our insurance and see what is covered but as stated he is taking his good old time to do so. He told me today I need to be more active, eat better and healthier foods and think positively. I understand where he is coming from but I am sorry I have done all of that before, I am doing it now and still I feel so horrible. He went out to mow after our talk and I felt utterly defeated. I just cried and cried. I spoke with my friend Meg today. I told her that Husband was in total denial. She agreed with me that its natural for him to feel that way. She also brought up some other really good points. For which I am directly quoting her word for word and even type…: “you need to find something that doesn't give you a choice that makes you the leaning post… one thing i have always thought about you as that you don't feel needed because your parents and brother would just pass you around or pass you over and it made you feel like you didn't matter. but you do matter and you need something that tells you almost every moment of the day that you matter and just using words isn't going to do it. Your husband can tell you every second of the day that he loves you and needs you and that isn't going to mean anything because your family always told you bull shit and it didn't mean anything” Which all that is making me think….I hope everyone is well! ~Bright Blessings~Rea