“Lay me down gently, Lay me down low, I fear I am broken, I wont mend I know. There’s one thing I ask when the stars light the skies…who now will sing me lullabies?” – Kate Rusby   ( http://youtube.com/watch?v=No5FkAmTaJY )I am sitting here with a nice cup of soothing herbal tea which is much needed at the moment. I have been on edge and nervous all day. Luckily I managed to keep the panic attacks away and keep myself in a positive state of mind. In fact I don’t think anyone really noticed- which is great because it seems like when I get on edge so does everyone else. My husband on Saturday ran some errands and came across a farmers market where anyone can set up and sell stuff. They do it every Saturday in a park and this Saturday coming up is supposed to be a pecan festival with lots of foot traffic. So, my husband signed my small business up for a booth. Basically he is buying wholesale from the business and then selling it. He said he would run the booth on Saturday which you can set up when you want and leave when you want. He told me I was more then welcome to come along if I wanted though no pressure. I told him I will certainly try. So, we shall see how that goes. I hope I don’t get myself in a tizzy. The upset is this is not far from my place so if I DO go into a panic attack or get sick from anxiety I can hop in the car and head home. I am really leaning towards doing it. I figure this is the Gods giving me an opportunity to prove to myself I can do this without making it a big production. I am not going to put stress on myself for things to be perfect- they will just be so I can just be. I want to enjoy myself and meet new people. I told Grammie about it in our Saturday talk and she told me to go, keep my chin up, and have a great time. I agree. I just wish it was that simple. I don’t think anyone can even come close to understand what this is like unless you have experienced it. My husband says he fully understands but honestly I don’t think he does. He is so out going, friendly, willing to take risks, doesn’t get hurt easily etc. I am overly sensitive, care deeply about the smallest things, and get hurt by a mere look. I wish I was brave like my husband but he doesn’t see himself as brave. He just sees himself “do”. I wish I could be like that. Not think, just do. Don’t analyze, just have fun.  I hope everyone is well… ~Bright Blessings~Rea