"Your in the arms of the angels...may you find some comfort here..." - Sarah MclachlanIf any of this doesnt make sense its because I am blinded with tears and just rambling... Friday I ended up getting some icky news via an email from a friend in Ohio. Long story short a friend of mines little sister died from luekima. It was a VERY hard battle for her. Just when she they thought she was out of the woods they were going to take her to Disney World to celebrate. They took her in for a check up to be sure she was ok to fly and the doctors gave her a month to live. Well, she ended up fighting for a little over two months. She died at age 9. This little girl was born into a family that just really didnt care. She had three older sisters that were at least a 10 year age difference. She was the "accident" between the boyfriend and her worthless mother. Her older sister Dani was my best friend at one point. Dani dated my older brother. I was close to the family because I was helping Dani basically raise her sisters while her mom worked and then went bar hopping. If Dani didnt have Chyanne I did. If Dani wasnt picking her up from daycare I was. For the first 3 and a half years of Chy's life she was with Dani and I more then her mom. I would go to pick Chyanne up for the weekend and her mom didnt care. All she said was "when you bring her back you better bring diapers" She wouldnt even hug her goodbye. Chy-Chy was the sweetest little girl with big chocolate brown eyes and soft curly brown hair. She had this smile that just could really make your day. For her first Halloween she was a little pumpkin. Her second she was a clown. Her third she was a witch. We took her and the other two sisters trick or treating, however, Chy-Chy wanted nothing to do with going up to peoples houses. With her being scared I would stand on the sidewalk with her holding her hand as we went house to house and her sisters collected candy for her. When I moved to Texas I still kept in touch until finally her mother cut all communication. She wouldnt even let Dani take Chy anymore. Alas 3 months later rumors started to make their way to me of horrific stories which most turned out to be true. Then at 7 Chy was on the play ground at school in her little corner not playing with anyone and she just passed out. When they found her and took her to the nurses office she was running a very high fever. That was the begining of the end for her. I went back to Ohio for a day for tests to see if my bone marrow matched hers because they needed a donor badly. I was good enough to have these tests done, and possibly be a match but to her mom I wasnt good enough to see her daughter. Chy saw me though...through the window. She cried hysterically for me not to go- all I could do was signal to her in sign language that I loved her. She signed back the same. I left with her mom a soft pink teddy bear and "Alice in Wonderland". That was the last I saw of her. I feel so sad but so happy for her. Sad that her life ended so soon but happy that she isnt suffering with her illness and with that very hard life she was delt. Happy because she is on a new adventure. I am torn. I am hurt. I just hope and pray that she knows how special she was to me...and that I loved her with every fiber of my being. So...I will always remember those round cheeks and that giggle. I will remember the tears and the way she felt in my arms as I rocked her to sleep. Most of all I will remeber what it was like to offer my love and kindness to a child that was born into a world where she didnt get any of the sort. I was told when I got the insensative email from a friend bearing the news of Chys death that at Chys funeral they had her holding the teddy bear I had given her. It was her favorite. I locked myself in a room and wept. Her mother actually did something nice for once. I hope everyone is well...Luv,R