"This too shall pass..."I find myself saying that a lot and it does. There is a lot of truth in that statement. I took a moment today to count my blessings. Though I have experienced a lot of loss in my life I have also experienced a lot of joy. I have taken the bad with the good and have lived the hand I have been dealt. I cannot help but ask certain questions- then I often feel guilty for even thinking them. I am very close to my great grandmother. She is my world aside from my husband. She lives all the way in Ohio and I am here in Texas. Somedays it breaks my heart that I cannot be with her so I call her about three times a week. We talk about everything under the sun. The last we spoke I confessed to her about my bouts of depression, constant worrying and anxiety. She said to me, "You stop that worrying and you keep that chin up" I thought, "oh, Grammie I wish it was that easy" However, I think deep down inside she already knew this. She told me that my uncle out of no where brought up the fact about how poorly I was treated by my parents. This is my uncle who purposely looks the other way as to "mind his own business." Its pretty bad when my uncle noticed that stuff. I guess they were watching old home movies and noticed I was never really a part of my intermediate family. It was Mom, Dad, and my older brother. I was always excluded, always got punished for what my brother did, and was ignored. He made mention how I was always standing off to the side or how I was always seeking comfort in my Grandmothers arms. I never much complained mind you. I thought that's how life was. To be the one people didn't want. Its weird to have others notice. I am not feeling sorry for myself mind you- it is what it is. I am just saying my subconscious knew this but in order for me to survive I buried that hurt so deep down that it has taken 27 years to start to work itself out. Luckily I am able to heal in a safe and loving environment. But what scares me is...how do you heal from a deep wound such as that?I asked my grandmother that...she said "Love...love and be loved...you know I love you..." That I do. I can count on one single hand the people that I know truly love me for everything I am- that are still alive. Not many can say they have that I suppose...and for that I am truly blessed. Warm wishes to all of you. ~Bright Blessings~Rea