Today I felt like I could sleep forever though the sleep was restless and filled with weird dreams. It took me what seemed like forever to wake up. I just feel so cloudy. The thought of studying for school makes me groan. Before I loved studying for school. I was excited I was going to graduate in Dec 2008, however, I had horrible thoughts last night about just throwing in the towel. It was like the first time those thoughts came across my mind. Of course I corrected myself. This is such a great opportunity. I am back in school learning about something I love. I am blessed...why do I want to give it all up? Ugh! I have a lot to do today including going to the grocery store. Bleh. At least its a once a month shopping hell. My husband gets paid once a month so we shop for all staples once a month and buy fresh fruit/veggies from the farmers market every week. I am already anxious about going. It is amazing how when I started to change my inner dialogue how much better I started to feel. Grant it the positive talk wasn't/isn't  a cure but it does ease some of what I call "the crazies". I know its a behavioral change I need to make. I know I am going to be very uncomfortable as I heal, grow etc. I just know I am frustrated and I wish to feel safe again- but in order NOT to be frustrated and to feel safe again I need to step out of my comfort zone, jump head long into the muck of it all and make sense of it. I just wish it was a faster process...I am so sick of feeling sick and feeling the way I do.  I hope everyone is well~Bright Blessings~Rea