tired

I bet that one word says alot for many people who come here.  I am just like everyone else, in pain constantly and wishing I wasn't.  And like everyone else i will try anything to get away from the pain, even if it is only for a little while.  Sweet, sweet relief, oh how we yearn for it!!  Just a day, hours or minutes without pain would be a wish come true!!  To be able to sleep through the night?  What a treat that would be!! I feel like I am back at the drawing board, again.  You all know that "board"  the one where you review what you've tried, done, experimented with to relieve the pain.  The number of different doctors, and the number of doctors visits are absoultly crazy high and no normal person would ever do this. But we're not normal.  We try to act that way.  Pretending that everything is ok while we swollow a pill within minutes of getting out of bed. Pretending I have enough energy for the day, as I blend concealer into the permenant dark circles under my eyes.  Pretending to my "friends" that I'm too busy to go to the movies, shopping, lunch etc... because i know they don't want to hear about my pain and how it hurts to breathe, much less move. Pretending to my kids, husband, mother, family and friends. Pretending, pretending, pretending.  When will it ever end??