I have come so close to death these past few days. I worry that eventually I will act on my thoughts to a tragic end. I have so many loose ends to tie up. I've been told that I have good work to do, I don't see it. The pile keeps getting higher and higher, holding me down deeper and deeper. None of my positive helps is helping... which makes it only harder. I'm alone isolated in this pain-filled hell. I step one foot in front of the other for a brief moment for naught. I get knocked back into the evil abyss. What stops me? I dunno. Whatever it is I'm grateful for it. I thought I accepted me for me...I was told I hadn't. I was told that there's hope...where? I cried out for help and received none. I'm thinking up titles again, just like I did when I was a kid. The voices are sneaking back in. I hadn't heard any for a month or so, now they are back. Just one right now but I know the others will follow. I'm strong enough right now to fight him off but I don't think I can keep it up for the return.
This is how my mind is working...
"not too long"-July 3, 2012 endless days turn into horror filled nights closed tear-filled eyes see the flashing lights sirens screaming wailing so loudly nothing holds the heads up proudlynightmares flash across the sky like lightening bolts that come to die lonely the burdened walk of life chaffed with malice, pain and strife cold the forbidding heat that's found stalking without making a single sound summer heat swelters the soul taking with it the priceless toll dogs may bark their hungry cry some are left to rot to die racing ahead the run of ways mind racing without any stays night birds calling with unseen song knowing its end is not too long
 
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