Bad Day
I've had such a horrible day at home today. I ploughed through all my meals though despite dinner being a disaster and a hard one anyway, but tonight I just can't face the last snack, it's too much after all that has gone on today.I said in my last entry that there are a lot of things to cope with. Well for people who read my journals before, you'll know my Mum's bf moved in. It's been....ok up till now. Now the 'honeymoon' period has ended there are problems going on ALL THE TIME!!! It's so stressful and he is so stressful! He's got such a quick temper on him and he flies off into these rants/rages (not at my Mum but she ends up upset anyway because he's upset). It's just too much to cope with and I there is nothing I can do about it.As well as just dealing with him I'm getting no time to spend with Mum anymore. My brother is finishing his nursing degree and will me moving out towards the end of the year and I just feel so alone. He's doing placements at the moment so he's never here, and when he is, he's usually sleeping after 12 hour shifts. Whenever the bf is home, Mum is with him all the time...or should I say, he is with her...like, perminantly! He's become so dependent on her and I don't think she sees it, or she does but just thinks it'll pass when he gets more confident. I'm not so sure. It's not been as bad because he's been working late shifts so he leaves for work at 1pm so they have the morning together and gets home about 10pm and have the nights together. That meant that Mum had the afternoon to get things done around the house etc and then in the evenings if I wanted to I would go and sit downstairs and either watch tv or take something down to do. But he wasn't happy with it and said he wanted evenings to spend with Mum as well and so he's changed to day shifts starting Monday which means he's home by 3pm!!!She knows how upset I am over this though and she knows why because when she told me I broke down in tears.At the weekend, Mum decided it would be a great time to tell me (after months of 'getting to know' him) that he has a baby girl too!! Not only that, but that he's going to start bringing her here to build a relationship with her and Mum...and me too apparently.So all this is going on and I'm expected to try and do this food stuff too. Today was really bad in particular though because after all the talking and reassuring my Mum has done and saying that yes she'll help me by making sure she supervise me in the kitchen and to just prompt me at meal times...on just the 3rd day, my fears are proved right!! At dinner, she was with him sitting in the garden having a drink when it was time for me to start cooking. She comes into the kitchen, literally quickly lists everything I have to do as in "take these and put them in a pan with 4 tbsp of water and put them in the microwave for a couple of minutes, if they're not done do them again for a minute at a time till they're cooked then you can put this in for 6 minutes....." etc etc. She looks at me and runs through it again after I start panicking and then says "alright? You know where I am, Ok?" in a tone you can't really say no to, and then goes back out in the garden. Not only that...but after a full 6 minutes...I find out as I open the microwave that she's given me the wrong time to cook the things and they're burnt!! Which WOULDN'T have happened if she was supervising like she SAID she would!As for Evening snack, well... they both had several drinks earlier because of the 'stress' they've had today dealing with this car buisness and fallen asleep because I haven't seen them since 7pm and it's now... gone midnight. So tonight...I've been forgotten too.
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