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I'm sorry I haven't posted here for a while. I don't really know what to post. This is a support board for people wanting support and I just don't feel that way anymore.I don't WANT anything anymore. Daily life has become a day to day struggle to just get through it and wake up in the next one. It is purely survival for my family. I myself have lost all hope of things ever changing and so I feel resigned to the fact that this is it. This is my life.Apart from being extremely depressed I'm not really feeling much. My eating is shit, the self harm thoughts (and some actions) are there but I just don't care anymore. If it helps me get through it, so be it. At least I'm still around for my Mum and that's what she wants.I still go to Daypatients for the eating disorder (don't want my Mum to catch on that anything is different). I still see my therapist although I have been more honest with him. I've said I don't think I am capable of changing. That I'm beyond help but still he wants to see me. I don't really know why. I'm a waste of time which could be spent helping someone else who has the ability and drive to get better.Anyway that's about it. I'm sorry for people who have been trying to contact me. I just didn't know how to tell you that I just don't deserve your support anymore. I hope everyone else's Christmas and New Year was ok and I wish you all a happier and healthier year for this one.
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You deserve every ounce of support that you can get and of course your therapist is not giving up on you. He would be a lousy therapist if he did. Like you said you are stuck in a major depression and I wish you would see a doctor and maybe get or change your antidepressants. It\'s ok to have no hope for a little while, just don\'t act on it. The hope will come back, promise.
u dont have to want something for it to be there...u might not ask for support...but its here...for u...because u matter to alot of people!