Saw my therapist.Whether he got it or not I don't know. He didn't respond to it at all. There wasn't a conversation about it or anything.I left the session feeling completely...I don't even know how to describe it.All the way home I held everything in. As soon as I walked through the door I just burst into tears.So I'm not scared of suicide or self harm anymore? Then why this reaction? I still feel like I couldn't give a damn. I WANT to die...especially now! So why did him not reacting to what I told him upset me so much.Oh I forgot. It's because I'M FUCKED IN THE HEAD!!!
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You are not fucked in the head and I can tell you why you feel this way. You talked about suicidal thoughts or at least tried to and he didnt react. You are crying because it seems that he doesn\'t give it shit and you wonder why should you. I tell you why, because it\'s your life and you have a lot of living to do. I don\'t know if you feel up to it but I wish you would call your therapist and ask him why he didn\'t approach the subject. And if he just blows you off, it\'s time to look for a new therapist. Sending you hugs and encouragement.
What did you want from him? Did you want him to say its ok to feel like that or for him to stop you? You sound like you need some one who is important in your life to tell you they need you and you shouldn\'t do it. Talk to your family and if you\'re not getting what you need from your therapist talk to him or ask to see someone else.
I don\'t know what it is I wanted him to say. It made me feel like maybe he didn\'t believe me or that he just didn\'t understand.