Down

I'm feeling down today. I think it's because it's Friday and I know I've got another weekend to go before I have another appointment.I'm seeing the guy who did my first part of the assessment on Monday; the dietician. I'll be taking my blood results with me and the ECG reading for him to record. I think he just wants to see me and make sure I'm not getting any worse while I wait for this second part of my assessment.It's REALLY getting me down now though because I'm staying at about 5 stone 9 lbs. I'm not seeing the numbers go down and I'm eating the least I can get away with, with all my meds. I just want the numbers to go down :( I feel really tearful again today.My GP went through my blood results with me yesterday evening. Nothing serious going on, according to the ECG there's a bit of a strain on my heart and the bloods have shown that my kidneys are starting to struggle. But none of the results come under the concern/alert ranges which was on the sheet he gave us.I don't know whether this will mean that they'll no longer take me seriously or not. I mean, he did say I'm at high risk of 'Refeeding Syndrome' so surely he can't ask me to try AGAIN at home. I'm scared to do it on my own because last time I tried I ended up self harming and felt suicidal.Mind you I've been taking my blood pressure every morning and those results ARE coming under the concert AND alert ranges.Just have to wait and see what he thinks. My second part of the assessment is next Wednesday so I should know what is going to happen after that.