Had a bit of a hard time last night when I realised my calorie intake was the highest it's been for a while. I just took my tablets and went to bed.Finding it really hard to deal with the frustration of not being able to get things moving with this eating disorder unit. I keep getting moments when I'm really angry which is just not like me, then other times it's just frustrated, then I could just punch the walls, and I keep getting really tearful but I can't cry. It feels like if one slightest thing happens it could start me balling my eyes out.I can't remember if I mentioned in my other entries that although I'm not eating, I LOVE to cook and bake. I'm cooking everything at the moment to learn because I'm not very independant so I've asked my Mum to let me cook all the dinners etc so I can learn and she just tells me what I need to do.I've been going through all her recipie books looking for things to bake too. I'm only looking at the cakes and desserts at the moment though because it's a bit pointless buying ingredients to make a meal for only two people. At least with cakes and things I can give them to friends too.So far I've made...rock cakes with cherries and chocolate chips, doughnuts, and jellies. I've got the ingredients to make sponge cakes too and my Easter cakes for next week. I'm doing well with keeping busy and when I'm not cooking, because Mum has several cook books I'm typing out my own recipies for the things I can cook so I don't have to keep going through them to find a particular cake. After I've typed them out I'm going to print them and keep them all in one folder...I'm a bit obsessional but it's keeping me occupied.Goal UpdateWell even after yesterday being the highest calorie total for the day, I still managed to lose 1/4 lb. I didn't do it intentionally, I think it was because I ate a little bit but more often. For breakfast I had oat so simple, tea, and apple for lunch which I've been skipping, some water, cod in parsley sauce with peas, diet pepsi and then before I went to be 1/2 a weight watchers yoghurt for my tablets. I must have kicked my metabolism into gear.
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