Monday 4th Feb4:45pm - Mood: Disheartened + Goal UpdateOk. Where do I start. I'm going to remove my goal to lose weight and instead put two other goals up instead.The past few days I've lost weight very quickly and I now feel ill. I was skipping meals including breakfast and with the amount of medication I'm on, it is not a good idea. Not only did I go without eating but I was exercising too. At the moment I can't get up without feeling dizzy, my blood pressure and pulse rate has dropped and basically I'm just feeling really weak. Last night my arms, legs and stomach ached and I had a throbbing headache. My therapist knows that I've had problems with food before and with my OCD it can become obsessive. We've agreed (while I still can control it) that I need some help with it at home. I've talked to my Mum about it and she's going to help me start eating healthy, but normal again. Before I started to feel ill I was determined that I still wanted to lose weight. But it's just made me ill. I suppose I'm lucky that something has just 'clicked' and I no longer want to do it. I think it scared me a little last night and this morning when I got up and felt like I was going to pass out.So I'm removing my current goal and replacing it. I'm going to increase my eating but still eat healthy. I'm not going to suddenly start eating huge meals but built it up gradually. It helps that I have my Mum as I've told her I don't want the choice of dinners now. It puts too much fous on it and I'll be thinking about what I want, how many calories it is and do I really want it hours before which is ultimately going to bring my mood down anyway.I have a set plan for my food throughout the day now:2 Weetabix in the morning, I can decide whether I want lunch once I'm comfortable eating again. Then dinners my Mum is just going to put it infront of me lol. I've asked to. Then I no longer have a choice and the though of not eating at all wont have to even enter my head. My Mum has a rough idea of the things I'll be comfortable eating so I don't have to worry about her sticking burger and chips in front of me every night :)So there you go... Just have to see how it goes now. Please wish me luck if you read this as support will really help :) thanks!
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