I feel like I've been 10 rounds with Mike Tyson, dragged down a motorway at 100 mph by a truck and left to be hit by a train about 5 seconds after.I have had some responses to my post on the MPD/DID board and now I have them, I'm not sure what to do next. Do I talk to someone or not? Is this why my medication is not working? Because there are other factors contributing. Is this why I can be on a med, start to stabilize and then suddenly 'bang' it's back again. Is it because I wasn't really stable...I was just, another. I'm so confused. How could I have it...and not know. Surely it would be to strange. Surely my Mum and Brother would notice things. Should I talk to them? There's so many things I want to ask but I'm scared to incase I'm not taken seriously. Maybe it would be better to just show my Mum my diary entries instead of trying to explain it all again. But then I don't want to convince anyone that I have something I dont....if I really dont. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHI've felt really bad today. Completely lost and without hope. I'm still hanging on in there but I just feel so alone with all this. My head is just spinning with all these questions and I desprately want answers. I have until Monday to decide if I'm going to talk to my therapist. The thing that puts me off is how he was so desprate for me to understand that he was NOT dx me with BPD...just that I have BPD traits. He's a bit obsessional himself and keeps repeating over and over that I DONT have BPD...just traits. I'm like....I KNOW! What should I do!?x-Bliss-x
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I\'m sorry that you are struggling. It is possible to not know you have DID and its possible for others not to realize it, too. Maybe you could start with talking to your Mom about it. Maybe she can think of times when you didn\'t seem yourself and help to start put this big puzzle together. I will pray for you.
-michelle