Hello again.
After last night's little freak out I didn't get to sleep until 5:30am...in the end my and my Mum just sat up downstairs. She asked me if I could tell her what was going on in my head but I didn't think I could. Then she asked me to write it and gave me paper and a pen. At first I didn't know what to write, where to start, but as soon as I did it just all came out and so did the tears.
I've felt pretty bad all day again but I just keep thinking it's Thursday....only 4 more days before I see my pdoc. I'm not sure what he's going to say though. I really hope he doesn't suggest hospitalisation again. It's £4000 a week! And I've not THAT long been out from a 2 week stay. Plus it didn't end in the best of conditions. Basically I ended up falling out with the group of people that I had become close to in there. I felt totally alone, like I was back at school again being bullied. I don't think I could go through all that again. The whole, meeting new people, trying to socialize with strangers who have enough problems of they're own without me moping about.
I'll just have to wait and see what he says I guess.
I haven't done anything today, haven't had the energy but at least I managed to eat a bit more.

x-Bliss-x