paul goes for the jugular when he fighes with me or anyone if you up the anty he ups it more.  since being in the hospital all i wanted was a friend and a lover and a christian husband.  prognosses was poor to guarded of getting out of hospital. mind felt like a slurply (a icee drink) nothing was soiled (firm) . anyway got out of hospital did all kinds of personal growth the carrot worked for was a friend and a lover.  just as i had it in my grasp paul pretended to be kind and loving and a good thoughful lover.  first he beates me mentaly and now hits me physicaly at least he jared me so much it shooked me up alot. soon after tried to pour a cup of coffee and bumped the cup and it spilled all over the place, im not clumsy at  all, i was just shoock up from being knocked 5 ft anyone else would of been knocked down but have good ballance and know my center of gravity.