signed papers to cancell divorce to night, feeling numb hope not turning nto ice pricenes again do not have energy or time to go to hell and back or be insane again last divorce ended in hospital and was disiosed as poor to garded of geeting out of hospital not alone being married and living a good life. have come a long way.  realy my life is good as long as take paul in small doses he says he cant sleep when im around so i need to go home.  he was angry nothing i did .  on the way into church started playfully bumping me i bumped him back a few times finely bumped me too hard and i bumped him a few feet and he bumpted me 5 feet and nocked me out of my shoe. feel he beat me mentaly now he is going to physcally hit me.  when he is angry for no reason other than he wants to hit some one im going to be it.