just when i feel safe and confortable .paul has a car axident and the car has to be towed.  at first i felt not responsible for this(paul blames me for blood clots, ulcers most anything when i yell at him because i upset him.)  this time i didnt yell only told tim how i felt about him hanging up on me. did ask about the divorce...  i put pressure on him when he was full im responsible.... realy, realy, realy realy know this has to stop and right now!!!!!!!! atthis moment dont know what to do. paul is responsible for advodance im responsible for attack.  we both know they end up the same ,decay and death.  neither of us want this.  i called because knew he was upset and afraid for him.  what a mess we have made of our marriage.  dont want paul to die because we fight . actualy this time it is more because of keith paul and me.  paul treats keith as if he is five a and me as if nothing is wrong with me at all.  im rising to the ocation, but it is very painful,  im growing up.  do feel good in my own skin even with all this drama all around me.  will look at this again and get imput from paul, we will decide together