am flaming codependant. husband asked me if we were soulemates realy didnt know ,loved him liked him an tried to fix him and his son. when i had more problems then he did wrighting this im feeling realy dizzy. am angry at him and god -not their fault mine alone well not gods fault anyway both of are faults because we tried to fix each other. totaly codependand each of us. paul and me can not be together because too codependants in one house does not work. love him but will have to feel the pain of leaving him and not filling the void with another man what a drag. only can have friends now. i love myself enough to do this
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Liz, something tells me there is something amiss in what you are saying here. I don\'t even know what it is. All couples are somewhat co-dependant and I don\'t know what the fuss is about really. In fact, that\'s what a relationship is, it\'s two people, or things connected by need. An atom is only an atom because it\'s parts, the proton, the neutrons and the electron all need each other. If there were only protons, nothing would exist as we know it. I think people are the same. We live in a system, and we depend on each other. I think there may be way to much emphasis on the codependance crap. The idea that people can be non-dependant, is impossible to me. I prefer to believe that you and Paul for instance, are a system, the ocean and the land. The ocean needs the land, as the land needs the ocean and where the two meet, the shore, their is always pulling and shoving, what we call the tide. No ocean, no rain, no life on the land, etc. etc. etc. The tide is a balanceing point, that struggle for power and dominance, is essential. Much of life on the land and in the ocean depend on that tide, that struggle. I think the key thing in our relationships is therefore routine, timing. The tide has a routine determined by the mooms travel around the earth. I think your relationship with Paul needs a routine. Like, a regular night out together, a regular appointment for sex, regular meal times, some sought of regular system that biulds trust between you. We need to be somewhat predictable with each other. Look at any old couple who have been married for 50 years, my parents for instance. Even though they have never been what I would call \"happy\" with each other, neither would they ever be without one another. And they know each other at least as well as they know themself. They know exactly when they will eat, what the other will say at certain points.
Routine, what is Pauls routine. Learn that, work with it, like the tide, and I think you can live happily ever after together, even if not in the same house.
paul breaks up with me, we get back together today his self estem is great mine is alot lower i feel my mental health has been taken from me even thou i know i gave it up myself