paul is a runner im a runner we run from relationships. we want them desperately but are fearful of them(im scared to death at times) if change=fear=anger every x im angry realy im fearful. i'v checked this out it is true. when i do not have money i'm fearful (example at home depot couldnt use cr card fearful going to cost alot of money . on way home was was angry at other drivers until noticed i was fearful plan was to go home &call took care of it no anger. today we painted the great room it looks good but needs onother coat. that is all i did today.
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I used to be a runner. It was not becuase I was afraid, it was my self preservation and my means of power. I still have escape plans for many things, but not my family. I am there now and having the girls has locked me in. I can never leave them. Running doesn\'t work. There are times when I need to run a little way, but I also need to stand and fight to make the other person feel valued. They need to know they are worth fighting for. So I now will stand and figth and not run. I want to encourage you to do an experiement. They are fun. next time you feel like running from someone, something, don\'t move,literally. You don\'t have to say anything, do anything. It doesnt\' matter where you are or who you are with. If you feel like running just stop for 2 minutes, in silence. See what happens, observe how you feel, and how the other person, thing responds. You can make a game of it and it can give you control and balance. Just a suggestion.
made him feel as valuabe as i could but he almost never said anything nice to me after we were married,asked him why he changed he said the other him was just courtship
ill try what you say about taking 2 minuter to see what is up. will try in social situations. good one but have extrem trouble in groups especialy his family he told me thing to make me feel inferiar to them. never felt that way before
was in recovery from coda when meeting paul i like to be controled a little. silly me this is a all or nothing game. Paul tried fixing me i tried fixing him what a mess i knew better he didnt have a clue what was going on, he only knew he was in alot of pain from after 57 yrs wife died and he wanted pain to stop. All i can say is i was in alot of pain too from breaking up out of a 8yr relationship but i had the tools to be ok but didnt use them.