I’m really struggling with my weight. Ever since my wife told me a few months ago that she does not love me like a husband, something changed in my head. I know I was extremely devastated by hearing that and I know she took a lot of hope away from me that day. Then came the end of the year and her telling me she cannot work on us anymore and for all essential purposes, we are done. Since the end of last year I’ve been on a bad spiral with my weight. Then came last week and she vented to me, which was good but, she said some things that were very hurtful. I feel I totally out of control with my weight. I cannot let myself stay in this pattern of self-destruction; I came too far and no way in HELL do I want to go back to that hell of being obesity over weight. I guess with everything that has happened over the last few months I am questioning the person I am. Am I such a terrible person, husband, father, friend. I’m I truly some of that person my wife says I am. I guess it’s made me question the fiber of my being. I feel so guilty and responsible for the situation I put my marriage and family in. I feel I bare the bulk of the burden and responsibility for my failed marriage and family. What scares me with my weight is the fear of going back to that hell, a hell of hopelessness and doom. A hell where I had given up on life. A hell where I felt guilty and responsible for what had happened to me as a child. I used food to dull the pain, to cope with my guilt. I’m scared to hell I’m about to follow the same pattern to deal with the pain of a failed love, marriage, family.