It’s been months since my wife has said “I Love You” to me. I had stopped saying it to her because I know it makes her feel uncomfortable and I have a very hard time handling not hearing it in return. I love my wife so much. Last night… actually early this morning after we got done putting out the kids gifts and went to bed, I told her “I Love You”. I thought I’d be strong enough and be able to control my emotions even if I didn’t hear those words in return. I was not. I broke down. I should have kept my F*&%#!! mouth shut!!!!!!!!!!! I barely slept last night and my wife didn’t sleep at all. I feel guilty that I told her I love you. What kind of marriage is this????
I’m just an emotional wreck this morning…. This might very well be my last Christmas with my family together. I feel so much pain inside. To love someone for 22 years and for her not to be able to say “I Love You” is unspeakable pain. I guess inside I was hoping for a Christmas gift. Only one I can think of. To hear my wife say, “I LOVE YOU”.
The kids opened their gifts …it was great. I love to see them excited and happy on Christmas. I’m making dinner, got the turkey in the oven. My wife is taking a nap. I hope she feels a little better.
I’ve been really questioning myself lately about my marriage or the lack of one. If we were to split and divorce what is it I will miss most, fear most, want most.
Miss most: My family together
Fear most: Being alone forever
Want most: A loving wife, my family together
Replies
My dear friend I cry as I read your journal, it hits so closely to home. I wish so much I could make your wish come true, no one should feel they way we are right now. But you still have hope, you are still living together, still talking, make the most of it. On this website on the sides of the page occasionally are ads for helping your marriage. I clicked on one and if I still had a spouse even talking to me I think it might work, try it. There are things you can do even without their cooperation.
Since you know already what you would miss and fear most if you divorce, concentrate on holding on to those things. Make yourself irresistable to her, even if at first she doesn\'t reciprocate. I think that was one of my mistakes, I think there were times when my husband tried but by that time I was afraid to let down my guard and he misread the signals as lack of caring. At least I think thats the case, I don\'t really know.
You still have alot, don\'t give up! Please contact me if you need encouragement, it breaks my heart to hear of others suffering like I am. Go kiss your wife on the neck, hug her and walk away, that will intrigue her. Have a good day.
That is a great idea offer to rub her back = do the dishes read to her
I heard a quote I really liked. The loveless never find love only the loving do...and they don\'t even have to seek it.
You my dear are loving. You should never have a fear that You will be alone. You will not be.
As long as you stay with your wife \"it is what it is\". You want more? you want better? then you need to step out on faith that you have value and worth and you deserve to have the person you love love you back!
There are millions of women out there lonely tonight wishing they could be with a man like you. Why are you wasting so much time trying to figure out what you already in your heart know: It is what it is.
You have a choice before you. Stay with what you know and the result you know. Or take a risk and have faith that you are better and you deserve better.
You can work on yourself. You can love yourself. You can NOT change her. She will do as she pleases. She will act as she please. You have no control there. You can control only yourself.
Your wife will stay with you as long as you put up with her. She knows what marraige is like and she is safe. She wants you to make the move if anyone makes a move.
Look into heart and decide what you want in you heart. You know what is on this path. Can you live this way forever?
I want you to be happy. i will keep you and your family in my prayers. You are a wonderful beautiful soul and you deserve to live a life of love and joy.
Merry Christmas.
Hi, What you wrote could have been written by me, I have been married a bit longer than you and I have finally had enough of the indifference. You have all my sympathy.
I have no answers to your problems, I wish I had but I have ran out of ideas. I have booked a hotel room for next Sunday so I can take her away from all distractions and present her with the the alternatives then let her choose. I haven\'t told her yet. I will tell her on Sunday morning. I expect very little from it but I feel I should give her a chance.
I only know a little about your situation but perhaps my solution could be a way on for you.
Good luck and regards.
Tom
I can relate. The last time I told my (now ex) wife that I loved her was while I was recovering from surgery in the hospital. She brought the kids over to visit with me. As the kids were talking to my mom, I looked at her and mouthed the words \"I love you\" to her. She came over and gave me a kiss. She didn\'t reply any other way. The last time I heard her say I love you was nearly two years ago. It hurts but things do get better. Time helps to heal the wounds but I have found that love makes it move along a lot faster. I don\'t like the way she treated me for a good chunk of our marriage. I don\'t like the way she has chosen to live her life, but I can still love her as the mother of our children. I no longer have any emotional attachments to her and that has been a wonderful blessing. It will get better ... it takes time, but it does get better.