What do I want?   I want a marriage; in which two people are truly striving to make it work, where there is mutual passion, trust, friendship, respect, encouragement, openness, no secrets, communication, affection, admiration towards each other, understanding, no games, respect for each other’s differences, inclusiveness not exclusiveness, fun with each other, willing to try activities of the others interests, who work together.  I want a family that; is intact, that treat each other with respect, where is love, who can have fun together, where there is common pride, respect for each other’s differences, help each other when in need, help out around  the house.  I want; to continue my self-discovery, not to worry about financial matters, a house that is organized, a life that does not seem so chaotic, able to send my kids to college, a house without a mortgage, no car payments, security in marriage, job security, good health for my family and myself, to be happy, not to be judged, to be myself, a better relationship with my Mother and Brother.  I have been thinking of some of this the past week and more. What do I have now of the things I want? In my current situation, do I see myself having any of this soon? What are the most important of the things I want? What can I live without and what is it I truly need. What is best to stay married or divorce? How much is it really me that effects my wife or is it her evaluating her life and not happy with where she is at this point in her life with job, family, money, health,  herself?