Anxiety
I dread going home When the clock gets close to the time I leave work i almost go into panic mode. I hate being at home especially at night. I cant do anything normal at home. I dont want to cook. I dont want to watch tv in the family room. I cant sleep. My husband and I just watch tv in the bedroom until he falls asleep easily snoring away and I attempt to and maybe at 3am get 2 hrs of sleep before work. And then repeat. We eat in various places in the house not where we all ate together. I cant even eat the foods I like because you liked them too and it reminds me of us eating together. Its so quiet, its like the life was sucked out of the house. I am going insane.
Replies
SadEyes1979, my first day coming home from work after Cookie passed I broke down. It was dreadful. Our house was deadly quiet and she wasn\'t at the door to greet me like she always did. I feel your pain. Allow yourself to grieve. This new normal sucks! I promise it will get better. I am praying for you. I am here for you! Sending lots of hugs your way...
I worked from home and was used to having Lady with me wherever I went. I still remember going to give her some of my eggs (she loved them), it was a shock to remember she was no longer there. As Cookie\'s Mom said, the first week is the worst. Hopefully, in time it will be better.
I have timers on my lights, so I never go home to a dark house nor do I go to bed in the dark. Maybe that will help.
Hugs xoxo
Thanks for the comments. You never realize how integrated they are in your heart and lives until they are gone; not that I didnt spoil and love the heck out of her or take her for granted its just amazing how much she is missed. I hope relief does come soon because this pain is unbearable. The guilt over doing things that we all use to do together is terrible as is the guilt of going out and doing things I would not do because she was home by herself. Trying to reinvent our days is difficult as is the silence. I miss her SO MUCH
I felt like there was no end to the misery (physically, emotionally) I felt, yet surprisingly each day got a little easier until it faded. I don\'t remember how long it took, but I do know the first few weeks were the worst. Our babies never truly leave us. I am not the same person before Lady nor am I the same person after her. She enriched my life and my sons\' and we continue to carry her in our hearts, even though she is gone physically.
I hope you\'re able to get some rest with the meds the doc gave you. Hopefully, after a night or 2 you won\'t need them anymore.
Thinking of you xoxo
I am going to try not to take the ambien. I looked it up and its iffy for pregnant women. Says take only if the benefits outweight the risks. That scares me :(
i know how your feeling,i was the same at the beginning,i actually havent cooked stir fry with rice!! since clay died.it just reminds me of him so much,he loved the rice and a little meat to eat.....every meal reminded me of him still does but not bad like at the start,i just have fleeting thoughts now and can put it out of my mind,at the start i was totally consumed by it.its amazing how everything you do relates to your pet in someway,i still have tears in my eyes taking out the trash,clay used to bark madly at the bin,its so quiet now,even if my neighbour opened her bin he would be off barking and we have a huge wall between us!! guilt is so horrible,it nearly drives you crazy.maybe if you take half an ambien?? if your desperate,i would be worried too with being pregnant,is there any natural sleeping aids you could use from a health shop,dont know if you could even take them but i know how bad lack of sleep feels on top of going to work and then being pregnant.its hard creating a new routine without our babies,its devastating,hugs to you xx