Maybe ....

Maybe just .. maybe .. finally I found a place where I can just share my deepest darkest secret and still be accepted for who I am.  Sometimes I wish that I was normal ... that I was not pessimistic ... that I was bubbly .. happy go luck .. wish that I did not have feelings for guys ... wish that I just got married with a girl and settled and have a family .. just like "normal" people.
 
Just maybe .. that I had made different choices in my life .. so that I can be normal ... but then do I want to be normal?  I have decided that I want to be "me" ... with all my weakness and strengths ... I dont want to live by the world's standard of what is normal ... but I just want to be me .. warts and all ... plain old "me".
 
If not for Christ in my life .. I would had ended it a long time ago... I am ready to meet Him ... ready to leave it all behind .... 
 
Hopefully this a place where I can meet real people here who loves unconditionally.  Where I can finally be myself without a mask. Just maybe .... maybe ....