Day 7
One WEEK today!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited.
Some things have been going through my mind a lot lately and they all seem to be revolving around my boyfriend and how bad of a match we are. I have tried to step back and look at the big picture and encompass all the boys I have dated over the art ten years. And they all have a common denominator they all have the same (or similar) problems as me. My thought process on that is ten fold. Either they won't judge me for smoking weed all day long, or they smoke more weed than me so I can just to that also, or they have an even worse problem so I can put myself on a pedistle because "my problems may be bad but not as bad as theirs."
These are all really fucked up ways to chose a partner. In the same breath, its really fucked up for me to judge other people and make their very real problems make me feel better.
I deserve better than this. I love my boyfriend. He is sweet, kind, handsome, works hard, doesn't drink, barely ever smokes weed..
But he is SOOOOOOOOOO dumb. It really isn't his fault. He has common sense but his parents never pushed any type of education on him. He is a mechanic and a welder and that is all he knows. He does know a lot of those trades but I can tell when he is put in a situation with new people he gets self conscious and has nothing to say so he reverts back to talking about engines and cars.
I want someone who has a larger realm of knowledge or at least the desire to learn.
My boyfriend surrounds himself with morons to make himself feel smarter and wonders why I cannot stand any of his friends.
I met a guy who wasn't extremely successful. He was bar tending in the keys, but had his bachelors in economics. We talked into the very early morning. It was unforgettable.
Its hard to feel like my relationship with someone I truly love is holding me back.
I have to stop talking about this because its making me sad.
I can't stop thinking about the brutal details of life. I used to just get high and ignore them. Time to be a real life grown up and deal with things as an adult.
Any advice on this relationship dilemma would be great.
Some things have been going through my mind a lot lately and they all seem to be revolving around my boyfriend and how bad of a match we are. I have tried to step back and look at the big picture and encompass all the boys I have dated over the art ten years. And they all have a common denominator they all have the same (or similar) problems as me. My thought process on that is ten fold. Either they won't judge me for smoking weed all day long, or they smoke more weed than me so I can just to that also, or they have an even worse problem so I can put myself on a pedistle because "my problems may be bad but not as bad as theirs."
These are all really fucked up ways to chose a partner. In the same breath, its really fucked up for me to judge other people and make their very real problems make me feel better.
I deserve better than this. I love my boyfriend. He is sweet, kind, handsome, works hard, doesn't drink, barely ever smokes weed..
But he is SOOOOOOOOOO dumb. It really isn't his fault. He has common sense but his parents never pushed any type of education on him. He is a mechanic and a welder and that is all he knows. He does know a lot of those trades but I can tell when he is put in a situation with new people he gets self conscious and has nothing to say so he reverts back to talking about engines and cars.
I want someone who has a larger realm of knowledge or at least the desire to learn.
My boyfriend surrounds himself with morons to make himself feel smarter and wonders why I cannot stand any of his friends.
I met a guy who wasn't extremely successful. He was bar tending in the keys, but had his bachelors in economics. We talked into the very early morning. It was unforgettable.
Its hard to feel like my relationship with someone I truly love is holding me back.
I have to stop talking about this because its making me sad.
I can't stop thinking about the brutal details of life. I used to just get high and ignore them. Time to be a real life grown up and deal with things as an adult.
Any advice on this relationship dilemma would be great.
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