The day after tomorrow I leave for a once in a lifetime experience, to live on a tropical island on the beach. I am very excited. But...
Im addicted to marijuana. I have been for years, now, but have only recently started admitted it. I don't know if addiction is the correct term but I am dependent upon marijuana and it is holding me back from being the person I want to be. I have always had issues with depression and they have been mild to moderate but never something I have considered getting help for, because I thought I was defective. Recently, I had a revelation partly forced on my by a good friend that: I am not alone.
I am currently about to embark on my senior year working toward my bachelors degree. I couldn't be more excited about the next part of my life. But there is always a grey cloud around my thoughts because I can't pass a drug test, and don't think I have the will power to get clean.
And, I will never know unless I try. Which brings me back to my fast approaching departure to a secluded island filled with self help books, a good friend, and most importantly no marijuana, and no access to it.
The closer I get the more daunting sobering up seems. I am freaking out while trying really hard to only think about the amazing experiences I will have for the next 6 weeks and the opportunities I will now have in the future. I actually get goosebumps thinking about the places I could travel, the jobs I get, and finally, being the change I wish to see in the world. **I know, cliché.
Currently getting as high as I possible can and feeling worse and worse about myself because of the mounting list of "to-do's" I need to get done before I leave.. there wasn't an emoticon for those actions.
Im addicted to marijuana. I have been for years, now, but have only recently started admitted it. I don't know if addiction is the correct term but I am dependent upon marijuana and it is holding me back from being the person I want to be. I have always had issues with depression and they have been mild to moderate but never something I have considered getting help for, because I thought I was defective. Recently, I had a revelation partly forced on my by a good friend that: I am not alone.
I am currently about to embark on my senior year working toward my bachelors degree. I couldn't be more excited about the next part of my life. But there is always a grey cloud around my thoughts because I can't pass a drug test, and don't think I have the will power to get clean.
And, I will never know unless I try. Which brings me back to my fast approaching departure to a secluded island filled with self help books, a good friend, and most importantly no marijuana, and no access to it.
The closer I get the more daunting sobering up seems. I am freaking out while trying really hard to only think about the amazing experiences I will have for the next 6 weeks and the opportunities I will now have in the future. I actually get goosebumps thinking about the places I could travel, the jobs I get, and finally, being the change I wish to see in the world. **I know, cliché.
Currently getting as high as I possible can and feeling worse and worse about myself because of the mounting list of "to-do's" I need to get done before I leave.. there wasn't an emoticon for those actions.
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