So I work in a crazy occupation for a woman, at times I forget that I am really like a fish out of water,..maybe like a mud-skipper, just doing my best in a harsh-changing environment. I think that I am starting to feel tired of this fast-paced, crazy environment, but unsure of what to do next. I am currently on probation - not performing up to expectations, which I will definitely have to over-come to enrich my own sense of self-worth and esteem, but not necessarily for the sake of impressing my employer, I don't really have the right attitude - I really don't care to represent the corporate-greed culture, it just isn't my thing. I really do care about the workers and their' well-being, however, I wish that they could understand this - I am not in this position, or have respect for people who are in it, for some sort of over-compensating, power-tripping purpose. I have no desire to be a justified bully as a safety officer. I feel that this chapter of my life is beginning to transition, I must stay on track, however, until I am firmly ready to make a move. I need to research what type of training will be required to carry on safely down another path, as this one is sucking the life out of me. I do not want to pay the price t hat will cause a lack of personal (mental) health care. I must practice what I preach: safety first, and self-care a must! I am old enough to know better than to sacrifice to try and please, it is just too co-dependant, desperate, and self-abusive!