another bad week - eating junk and lots of it. chocolates, caramels, toffee, full bags of large chips and cokes. and usually late at night and no exercise. i could shovel snow from the drive way but i don't, i just stay inside and eat. i hate myself so bad right now and i don't think there's any hope for me. how can any body stand to be around me? mum thinks that we will still live together after we sell the house - a two bedroom apartment is what she wants so what does it matter if i'm fat or skinny or dead or alive? why should it matter if i wear makeup or fix my hair or wear the latest fashions/ there's no reason and there's no hope.