I'm so tired of keeping it together.  I don't want to fight. I don't want to be strong.  I wish I had someone to lean on in during these times. but I don't.  I mean I have my friends but I have to stay healthy in their eyes.  I can't have them taking care of me or worrying about me anymore.  I feel stuck.  I just want someone to hold me and make everything better.  I shouldn't have to yell at my mom to be the parent.  My grandpa shouldn't be in the hospital.  I don't want to deal with the real world anymore.  I just want to curl up in bed and sleep forever.