I resent my mom and her illness.  I don't know why its so hard for me to say that.  I guess I feel like a bad daughter.  But in all honesty her illness takes over her.  She sucks to be around and she sucks as a mom when she isn't feeling well which is 90% of the time. I hate being around her.  I hate being at home.  I don't understand why just because she is in pain it is okay for her to ignore my needs and take advantage of me.  I mean I wouldn't mind helping out extra if she asked nicely without making stupid excuses or if she didn't demand it.  I don't know why she assumes I'm her personal servant.  I'm the daughter yet I don't get taken care of.  I'm not supposed to be her parent.  Being at home makes my depression worse.  I almost decided to drive off of a bridge yesterday on my way home because I didn't want to be in my house.  Why does it have to be like this?  I wish I could just live with my best friend Kristen.  Too bad my mom doesn't realize how much she sucks.  She would be so hurt and upset and my dad would be too.  I don't want to hurt my dad.  I don't want to hurt my mom either but my dad definitely doesn't deserve that.  God damn.  I just don't know what to do anymore.