Therapists always ask me about my relationship with my parents when they do intakes. That always starts an interesting conversation. I simplify the truth with "my mom and I don't get along." Thats more than a little bit of an understatement. Later on in therapy my therapists try to get me to open up to my mom. Honestly I quit respecting my mother a few years ago. To me she has no right or authority to tell me what to do anymore. She was an awful mother in a lot of respects. I don't want to say that she never did anything nice but she never did anything nice if it was too inconvenient for her. Anyway, I just can't do it. I don't want to get any closer to her. If I never saw her for the rest of my life it would be fine with me. I tolerate her and try to make encounters with her bearable but thats about it. I don't trust her. with anything. I know she is a lot of the reason that I'm so screwed up. I guess I don't really know what the point of this post is. I just don't understand why therapists always find it necessary to try to "fix" this stuff with my mom. Nothing is going to change ever. She doesn't care enough to change for me so why should I keep trying?
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I so understand where you are coming from. I am the same way with my mom. Lately I can\'t even tolerate being around her. I think that you should just let her go completely from your life. Cut off all ties to her. Maybe that would help you feel better.
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yeah ive been goin to my counselor for a couple years now n since day 1 shes been tryin to make me tlk to my \"father\" who i disowned a long time ago i hate him more than nething n she always ask me if ive tlkd to him or something n im lyk dude give up i will never tlk to him ever again hes not in my family lol i try to keep kool with her but shes so grrrr........ y do they try to fix something dat we have said we dont want or ever want its none sense
By \"talking\" to an absent parent, the therapist can perhaps get an inside track to how you think, how you interact with others in your past, and what, if any, trauma may have occurred. This is the only way they can try to diagnose a problem and get familiar with you. Put yourself in their shoes. They have no concrete way of knowing even part of the truth in a \"who dunnit\" mystery except by eyewitness testimony which is yours. That\'s not to put you on the defensive, but just trying to be logical, in addressing the issue about why therapist\'s do what they do.