I am a mess. I can't focus. I have no motivation to do anything. I feel like my friends are deserting me and don't really understand or care to understand what I'm going through. What I thought was a solid support system dwindled to to people over the span of 3 days. I need to get out of my dorm. I am so sick of being around the same people in the same place. Unfortunately the rest of campus isn't much better. I just need to get away for a few days. I can't be here anymore. It scares me to admit this but I don't know if I can handle college. I feel like I am just barely scraping by. I do the smallest amount of work possible in my classes and I have to force myself to go to lecture or complete an assignment. I have friends but I don't really try that hard to make new ones. All of my college friends are basically just the people I met on my floor or who are friends of people on my floor. I'm starting to not want to be in college anymore. I don't know what I would do with my life though. Psychology has been my biggest interest and I still love it but there is so much extraneous stuff I have to go through until I can get to the point in my life were I am a practicing psychologist and honestly I don't know if its worth it. I'm tired of feeling like every day takes forever to get through. I am tired of being bored and restless. I want to feel like I am being productive. All I ever do is hang around or do school work but I don't have the energy to get involved in anything else. I feel stuck. I don't know how much longer I can keep up with all of this. Maybe college isn't right for me or maybe this isn't the right college but I feel like I don't have any options. Not going to college doesn't really even seem like an option. What would I do with my life? And changing schools.....I really don't think I could handle that process again. I feel so lost and confused.
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