I think my mom is starting to upset my dad too which kind of scares me because he's always been the one person that wasnt affected by her the majority of the time...at least outwardly. I worry that especially with me gone at school....hes starting to feel all the shit she throws at people.  I don't really think they will ever get divorced but I don't want him to have to deal with that he doesn't deserve it. And I'm really angry that my mom hurts everyone that loves her or even everyone she comes in contact with. I shouldn't hate being in my own house. I shouldnt be more mature than my own mother. I used to wish my mom would leave us or that she would die.  Those are horrible horrible things to think.  Why can't she just go away?  I hate that she is who she is.  I hate what she does to people.