Every time I get in the car all I want to do is crash and die.  Its very distracting and upsetting.  I just cannot handle being around my mother any more.  Surprisingly we have not fought all break but it is only because I have been keeping everything inside me.  All of the anger and frustration is starting to build up and I really need to let it out somehow.  I've been cutting and having horrible tension headaches.  I need to find a better way to deal with everything.  I just don't know how much more I can take.  I feel like no amount of words can accurately describe just how much I hate being at home and how much I feel towards my mom.  I can't even find the right adjective to describe what I am feeling.  Anger, hate, frustration, disappointment, sadness.  None of those are quite right.  I can't wait to go back to school.