I gained weight. This is not okay. I cant think I can't breath. Why did this happen??? no no no no no no non nonoonono. this can't be happeningnonoI can't have gained weight. This is not acceptable. I can see the fat. The ugly horrrrible fat. I need to lose it. now. right now. No more eating. I need to work out. I cant go to the gym. Al of the people. No. NO .No. fat. why? fuck. I need to be thin. fat. ew. no. no. no. no. no. I can't be fat. Id rather die than be fat. make it go away. I can't do this! nnoooo!. Fucking freshman 15. no its not fifteen....but it will be. i will get fat. I can't stop eating. I can't do this. I need to lose weight. now.NOW.
Replies
I\'m sorry to hear this. I really with I could help. Take a good nap. When you wake up you will be able to think better.
Deep breath hun and realize there is more to life then being thin. That being said I am in the midst of a relapse myself and I know the feelings. Please know that this is a very deadly illness. I have gone into acute renal failure and have suffered a heart attack from it and I am so entranced by it that i keep going back. Please don\'t let this be your reality. Seek help and keep reaching out. Tell ED to shut the hell up and to take a flippin hike!!!
Sorry, I didn\'t read your profile properly before I replied on the boards, and didn\'t realise you are suffering with an ED. Do you have somone close by you could talk to?
:(
No. You need to calm down. You need to take your mind off this problem. You have not gained weight. Your have not. You have gained health. Its only a number. Do not step on those scales. Do not look in the mirror. ED is trying to hurt you. Take your mind off it.
alliegator - don\'t sweat it. I know the awful feeling of stepping on a scale and not getting the numbers you want, but it\'s so not worth the freak out. are you a freshman in college? I\'m a junior and i missed out on so many great college times because of my ed - you\'re young and you are so beautiful - you don\'t need a stupid scale number to tell you that.
focus on school and on your health
As a freshman in college, sadbee is right, take advantage of your time there. I am a senior and for the first two years, I never had fun because I was always consumed with my ED. Please don\'t step on that scale, it can\'t tell you anything. If you are gaining healthy weight, then don\'t worry about it. Just try to remain calm and be careful. :)
I really can\'t add much more then the other post but I know exactly how you feel. Your words are the same that i shout in my head constantly. No amount of consoling or logic stops them for me when I am in this place, but I am trying to wait it out. I honestly believe (well Ed convinces me) that I can see the fat exploding on my body after every meal. I know that this is Ed but he is so LOUD and obnoxious that some times I give in and let him roar. My therapist and doctors will try to convince me that none of this is true but it feels true.
You can not stop eatting You can not start any other unhealthy ED behaviors. You can however keep posting and we can try and help you recognize which voice is yours and which is ED.