Every day i dread having to go to bed. All I can think about while I am trying to fall asleep is wanting to cut myself and wanting to die. It doesn't matter if I have had a terrible day or a wonderful day. Thinking about dying and punishing mself has become such a habit for me at bed time that I can't think about anything else. Suicide doesn't even scare me anymore. It has become more of an option as a way to get out of things I don't want to do. I don't want to want to die everyda anymore. I don't know how to stop these thoughts.
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I have these thoughts every single day and it doesn\'t scare me anymore. It\'s like the only way to end all the pain is to just die. I understand how you feel. I get like this but not just at bedtime. I get like this during the day when I get yelled at or someone tells me something that is hurtful. It\'s almost like the perfect solution to everything isn\'t it? I\'m always here if you ever want to talk.