Feelings

My medication doesn't help but at the same time it does. I dont isolate myself as much but I still Prefer being alone. Almost everyday I feel like crying but I don't. The antidepressants can't take away the pain in my heart and in the pit of my stomach. I smile and laugh more with antidepressants. I still always feel lonely even with people around. I still try so hard to put on the same happy act everyday. I'm too much of a coward to even tell my friends that I'm depressed because I'm scared of what they'll think of me then when they find out I'm not the happy Chanel they know. I'm so tired of putting on this stupid act so people wont act so concerned when they see me frowning. I'm mad at myself for being scared to be myself. I feel so many emotions bottled up inside me that a thirteen year old shouldnt feel. I don tell anyone about all the emotions I feel because I know they won't understand.