My story

I'm a Canadian FTM from a city called Sudbury, I'm turning 17 in June.  When I was fourteen my best from, who i thought as a brother, and his friend forced himself upon me.  
My boyfriend at the time had gone out of town to visit family for the month, I decided to hang out with my friend and play some video games.  When I arrived there, we went back into the RV where we generally hung out behind his house. When i stepped inside his other friend was sitting on the pull out mattress infront of the TV.  We turned on CRANK 2, and started to watch it.  About half an hour into the movie, my friend turned me to me. "You want to have sex?" he ask.  In my mind he was a brother, so I said "hell, to the no."
"Come on please?"
"No, I have a boyfriend." 
"Well isn't he out of town? Just don't tell him."
"No"
Then his other friend started asking, not his other friend bullied me all through elementary school, so obviously I said no.  They even offered to pay me. "Do i have prostitute writen on my forehead?" They sat there over the next little while asking over and over until I finally said. "No, ask me one more time and I'm going home." So they didn't ask, his friend grabbed me from behind, while my friend pulled off my jeans.  I kicked at his genitals. "Stop it." I told him and he gave me a slight glare.
"Do you remember the hole i punched in your wall? Want that to be your face?" and with that, they did what they wanted with me, then left me curled in a ball on the bed, while they went outside for a cigarette.Since I've never been able to feel clean, unable to trust people, unable to get close...