17/8/07 i'm not doing very good today i'm feeling very lonely and isolated its probably due to the fact that i've been stuck in the house with 4 kids for the past 4 weeks as much as i love them unconditionally its not helping that ben is getting worse i have no control over him anymore and i feel like i'm banging my head agains't a brick wall with the doctors nevermind i'll just plod along as always.