Hello and Happy New Year to Everyone!Some of us on this site, like myself have not written in a long while and I apologize for this. As like every one of you..I've just been real busy dealing w/my medical issues...and to add...never a dull moment!! I sincerely hope all of you are feeling well this evening and if not, I pray to God to watch over everyone and to ease any pains that you may have. I really do enjoy this site because you all are caring people who know what pain is and are very understanding and compassionate to others's pain and problems and I honestly appreciate your caring kindness. Take care and I hope to hear from you soon.
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I\'ve not written my journal in a long time. I hurt my back and have a herniated disc in my lower back and it\'s painful. I spent a couple of days in the hospital for bed rest and pain meds. On top of that I have my medical condition to deal w/. In addition to these things, I was diagnosed w/Sleep Apnea and need a breathing machine. @ first I thought that it was my weight gain that caused it, but it\'s not...it\'s my tumors\'(in my face, throat, neck, ear, windpipe) growth that\'s hindering my breathing and it really aggravates me. So, now I\'m dealing w/3 major health problems...my tumors, my herniated disc and my sleep apnea. I\'m so sick of being sick..I\'m sick of pain meds. I\'m sick of sleeping the days away and waking up as if I never slept @ all. I\'m so tired of not being well. I just want to feel good for once and not have any pain. I\'m so tired of being in pain whether it\'s my back or my face/ear. I don\'t know what to do anymore. I\'m hoping and praying that the breathing machine will help me get some energy and rest. I\'m tired and irritated w/everything..I just want to give up.
what to say to you that will help you ...it\'s hard to find just the right words to encourage you to continue fighting....god must have some plan for you and that\'s why you have to keep fighting....but i know how you feel... i have days like that ..and i just put my trust in god; trusting that i\'m here for a reason; don\'t know what, and i don\'t have to know....i just trust in god ,and my pain lessens...doesn\'t go away; just lessens..and i think you will be sleeping better and you will feel \"peppier\" after a week or two!!l.o.l...so,try to remain strong..keep fighting...god will bless you in some way...have faith....sending gentle hugs; many prayers;..and much love,...weezie..
I can\'t believe it\'s been a year and 3 months since I\'ve written in the journal.
Not much has changed in my health conditions other than my health declining. I feel like a 90 year old woman. The pain has been constant lately and hard to deal with. I have only one person in my life as everyone has abandoned me because they don\'t want to hear about my ailments anymore. They just don\'t care about me anymore. My phone never rings. I am all alone in this world and the people who I thought loved and cared for me...don\'t give a crap. If I were in their shoes, I\'d never abandon them. Just because I\"m sick, it doesn\'t mean that I\'m a piece of dirt. I have opinions, I have a brain, I read the papers, I watch tv, I\'m smart and educated, but none of that matters. I\'m judged because I don\'t have a job and I\'m not out there doing much because I\'m too sick to go anywhere or do anything and people just don\'t understand so they give up on me and ignore me like I\"m dead. They treat me like I\"m nothing. I wish I was dead already.
I\'m not doing well @ all. I just want to die. I have absolutely no one in my life and I\'m suffering from a painful disease that continues to grow and cause more damage to my body. I hate my life and I want to be dead already. I have no life and I don\'t want this one anymore