Things have been going much better. My mother-in-law and I had a chat, and we reached a compromise on housecleaning stuff. She apologized for me not feeling welcome here, and in general things have been going much better.I do like my mother-in-law. She's a nice lady, and she's funny. I feel bad about always getting frustrated and upset about the way she is. It's not her fault this stuff bothers me.
 
I still feel a little frustrated with the cooking thing, but I'm dealing with that by learning to cook the stuff my husband likes that she makes. My attitude about it isn't the best, since I'm always determined to cook it better than she does, though. My only answer as to why I feel that way is that I perceive it as a threat when he likes her food. Stupid, I know. There doesn't need to be a rivalry there, and on her part, I doubt there is. But I still see it that way, and the only reason I can see for it is that I still don't feel like I'm "safe" here.
 
And, really, I guess I don't.
 
I'm having a very hard time connecting with people. There is no one here that's an HSP, and no one here that shares my religious background, either. So I still have no friends, even after four months of living here. I can't discuss the things that are important to me, or the things that affect me, with anyone but my husband, because no one else will get it, and I'm afraid of not being understood. Or being disliked. Or being attacked. or making people angry.
 
Or...asking people to accommodate me. I don't feel safe around my new family. They do not understand the stuff that affects me, and they never will. So asking them to accommodate me would be like asking them to walk on eggshells. They'll never "get" what bothers me.