My mother finally succeeded in convincing me to tell my husband about my symptoms and get another pregnancy test. The last time I mentioned it, he said that if I was pregnant then shouldn't it pretty obvious from what's going on with me? In other words, shouldn't I be having some unmistakable symptoms?
Well, my mom called yesterday, and we were talking about it when he came in to take a shower. When I got off, he asked if she was trying to convince me that I'm pregnant. I told him no, not exactly, and explained what she was doing. Then I rattled off a partial list of my symptoms while he listened in silence. Afterward, he asked if I wanted a test. I think it's a good idea, so we're going to pick one up today.
I just don't know what the results will be. As an HSP I've been trying to trust my intuition a little more, because I know it's not really some strange, mystical quality. It's just my overly detailed nature picking up on subtle clues that other people miss. But last time it came out negative. Three times. If it's negative...then what's wrong with me? Why am I dealing with all of this stuff? And why, for goodness sakes, haven't I started a period yet?
If it's positive...I don't know. At least then we'll know what's going on. Why I've been dealing with all this stuff. But what if it's just all in my head again? Is that even possible with what's been going on? Last time I took these tests, it was a nerve wracking experience. I didn't want to do that again because of how heart-pounding it was. But the not knowing might just be worse.
The emotional swings are the strangest. I rarely laugh until I cry, and I rarely cry. But I laughed until I cried the other day while reading a book, which has never happened before that I can recall. This morning, I had a dream that my aunt, who is famous for saying words improperly, tried to say testimony, and instead said festimony, which caused me to wake up laughing - and it wasn't even that funny. And yesterday on the phone with my mom, she was telling me that she sees two girls at church with dark hair from behind, and for a split second she thinks it's me. I almost cried on the phone. I hardly ever cry. I was almost in tears again when she described why she thinks my bird, which I had to leave behind temporarily, misses me.
I really don't understand what's going on if I'm not pregnant.
Well, my mom called yesterday, and we were talking about it when he came in to take a shower. When I got off, he asked if she was trying to convince me that I'm pregnant. I told him no, not exactly, and explained what she was doing. Then I rattled off a partial list of my symptoms while he listened in silence. Afterward, he asked if I wanted a test. I think it's a good idea, so we're going to pick one up today.
I just don't know what the results will be. As an HSP I've been trying to trust my intuition a little more, because I know it's not really some strange, mystical quality. It's just my overly detailed nature picking up on subtle clues that other people miss. But last time it came out negative. Three times. If it's negative...then what's wrong with me? Why am I dealing with all of this stuff? And why, for goodness sakes, haven't I started a period yet?
If it's positive...I don't know. At least then we'll know what's going on. Why I've been dealing with all this stuff. But what if it's just all in my head again? Is that even possible with what's been going on? Last time I took these tests, it was a nerve wracking experience. I didn't want to do that again because of how heart-pounding it was. But the not knowing might just be worse.
The emotional swings are the strangest. I rarely laugh until I cry, and I rarely cry. But I laughed until I cried the other day while reading a book, which has never happened before that I can recall. This morning, I had a dream that my aunt, who is famous for saying words improperly, tried to say testimony, and instead said festimony, which caused me to wake up laughing - and it wasn't even that funny. And yesterday on the phone with my mom, she was telling me that she sees two girls at church with dark hair from behind, and for a split second she thinks it's me. I almost cried on the phone. I hardly ever cry. I was almost in tears again when she described why she thinks my bird, which I had to leave behind temporarily, misses me.
I really don't understand what's going on if I'm not pregnant.
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