Is it truly horrifically depressing that I've been married a month as of today, and I'm absolutely miserable?
I know my husband loves me. I know my in-laws care about me. To an extent.
But I've never felt so alone in my entire life.
No one has reached out to me on anything other than a superficial level. Except for my future sister-in-law, and I was so uncomfortable and overstimulated that I couldn't have even taken advantage of that. My family is across the country, a family I've never been without for so long. The only person that actually seems to want to talk to me is my mother. My own best friend doesn't answer texts regularly, if she answers them at all.
My husband, as much as I know he loves me and would bend over backwards to make me happy if I asked him to, seems further away than he was when we were separated by a whole country. He doesn't really talk to me, TMI as it probably will be to everyone but me, he hasn't initiated any kind of sex since our wedding night. He doesn't seem to want it, even. When I asked him about it, he made it a point to tell me that it's not because he doesn't think I'm beautiful or that he doesn't want me. But it seems like that's what it is. My birth control pills have been totally useless. I might as well not even be taking them.
I'm miserable, and I don't know how to fix it. I have no friends here except my husband, and I hardly see him.