Feeling better today. Quite a bit better, actually. I talked to my fiancee about what I realized yesterday, and we each have our own plan to combat it.
 
I told him that I don't really know what I want, and he agreed with me right away. Which surprised me, of course, because I didn't realize I was doing it. But he'd noticed it a long time ago, apparently.
 
His plan is to constantly ask me what I want, and not let me out of answering. Which I don't think will help, if I don't even know what I want. He's making a good effort though, lol. He made me decide what movie I wanted to watch. It only took me ten minutes. *Only* ten minutes. And then I waffled, because I wasn't sure he wanted to watch it.
 
Which is standard operation for me.
 
I never noticed I did this. There is literally nothing I can immediately think of that I want to do. Which means when it's time for us (meaning me and anyone else) to do something, I wait for anyone else to pick what they want to do. And then I go along with it. Because I'm afraid of saying that I want something, and then having someone else give up what they want to do so I can do what I want.
 
I'm not sure which is to blame the most; the way I was raised, or my own personality.
 
My mom always raised me to think of other people, and I grew up watching as she constantly put others before herself. She's an HSP, of course. And then there's my own HSPness, too. But I don't know if it's one, the other, or a combination. All I know is that if someone asks me what I want to do, I almost never have an answer.
 
My idea was to examine the reasons behind this and create a systematic approach. Possibly with starting to identify things I truly enjoy. Things I enjoy. So I might make a list. It's going to be pretty short, I think. At least to start with. But it is a start.