feeling low

I cant even describe what im feeling today, low is what it is maybe, depressed, anxiety ridden, lost, feeling like nothing matters anymore, i am still stuck in this marriage that means nothing to me and all i want is to be happy but i cant even move, its like im in quicksand just sinking further and further, i need help and im trying to get help but im not getting anywhere i would give anything if i just had the strength to say you know what im done and walk out the door with my son but i feel guilty about leaving and scared to death what he will do when i leave, im never going to get past this