lost
Im just so lost right now, feel like im losing my mind, i want to leave but am so insecure that i cant conjure up the courage to actually do it. Now we are filing for bankruptcy, which is fine, it would be nice to start fresh but he wants to keep the house, he has some attachment to it, its an old piece of crap that needs alot of work and i would rather say goodbye to the headaches. so i guess what does it really matter if he wants to keep the house, i want out anyway and he can just have it.
Im so tired of being stressed out i really feel like im going to have a mental breakdown, maybe thats what i need, idk, maybe that would be the final step in ending this but why do i need to breakdown before i will leave this man, yes 15 years is a long time but im only 32, i can still have a new life and a fresh start with my son, without him.
I just wish something would just dawn on me and wake me up and that i would get the courage to say ITS OVER, IM DONE and leave, i feel so weak for not being able to do that, i fell the urge to cry but its just not there, im just so tired of everything, my life was suppose to be better than this. I never expected to be in this situation, i just want to run away.
Yes its emotional abuse, has never laid on hand on me, so why do i let this bring me down so low. and yes to twist the old adage, if he would just hit me, then i know i would run for the hills and it would be over but that will never happen, he knows i would be gone in a second!
I guess theres not alot of question here what i should do but i just needed to vent and any advice would be appreciated, im just stuck
Im so tired of being stressed out i really feel like im going to have a mental breakdown, maybe thats what i need, idk, maybe that would be the final step in ending this but why do i need to breakdown before i will leave this man, yes 15 years is a long time but im only 32, i can still have a new life and a fresh start with my son, without him.
I just wish something would just dawn on me and wake me up and that i would get the courage to say ITS OVER, IM DONE and leave, i feel so weak for not being able to do that, i fell the urge to cry but its just not there, im just so tired of everything, my life was suppose to be better than this. I never expected to be in this situation, i just want to run away.
Yes its emotional abuse, has never laid on hand on me, so why do i let this bring me down so low. and yes to twist the old adage, if he would just hit me, then i know i would run for the hills and it would be over but that will never happen, he knows i would be gone in a second!
I guess theres not alot of question here what i should do but i just needed to vent and any advice would be appreciated, im just stuck
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