WTF
Ok, I am ready to throw in the towel in more ways than one. Can't take all the ups and downs. Week eight I am undie week 32 not undie by a few points.... have to take another test just to be sure. My body has definatley seen better days as well as my emotional state. I DIDN'T SLAY THE DRAGON, HE SLAYED ME...Now I have to deal with level 3 alost 4 cirossis (there words not mine), which i have apparently had for years. Why did I know of this? Did I just block it out? What the heck is wrong with me? Is death knocking at my door now? If not how do I know this or better yet how do I know if it is. I don't want to go to work tomorrow and put on a smiley face like nothing is wrong. When I feel like my like is in the shitter. I don't want to go to work ever again. I hate all of them. All I want is for my Louie to come home!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want my kids to come visit me!!!!!! and I want a nice bottle of white wine, peanuts, cigarettes and good music. I want my husband to hold me and tell me everything will be alright. Opps wait he did that it didn't help/
Replies
You are on week 32? does that mean, hang on I have to count my fingers.... is that 8 more weeks to go? I really hope so, it will end but I feel for you going so long in this treatment and having that horrible news about the cirosis in it to. I want to say that i am 2 months post tx and alot of the effects of the tx are wearing off or worn off, I am sleeping much better, energy is back, skin and hair greatly improved, even feel kind to my partner and the energy! its a bit hit and miss but OMG not being breathless and anaemic is magic! still having some mental issues and womans bleeding etc.. but not like what your going through.
It will get better it just feels like we are doomed when we are in it. Hang on and keep imagining what you are going to do we you are feeling better, lots of peanuts! invite yourself over to the kids house for a month! I can relate to hating people thing too, at times I felt like a character in one of the final destination movies, like my number was up and life was trying to take me out, but I think it is a horrible effect of the meds, don\'t believe it. It will be over soon and everything you are writting sounds very familiar to me. Smile those fake smiles at work a bit longer its going to get better
You\'re both amazing people to me seriously.