when
When or will I ever get to the point of not having to force myself to function. I hope, I pray, i trust, but I hurt, my heart is so broken. Why was I never a good enough mother? How could I have not gotten it right, how could I have chosen being a wife and mother and gotten it wrong, would I have been better at a career? Obviously the one thing I wanted didn't turn out anything like I thought.
Just having a moment, several of them each day. Sadness to functioning...
God ... please save my ED and protect her and my granddaughters.
Just having a moment, several of them each day. Sadness to functioning...
God ... please save my ED and protect her and my granddaughters.
Replies
I am right where you are, today! I will remind you and you remind me, we didnt cause this.. our children are messed up in the head. We dont deserve to be treated like this. Put a preaching tape in and encourage yourself in our Lord.. (hugs)
I\'m with you gma6. It is heart wrenching. Every day my shadow disappears more and more til one day I will disappear I\'m afraid. My prayers are with you.
I\'m sorry you\'re feeling so down. I\'m praying for you to feel better soon! I agree with Paws4It, you didn\'t cause your problems. Even when we do everything right, our kids still have the freedom to chose to do their own thing! That\'s the way God created us with the freedom to make our own choices.
I feel that way too...everything I do is a struggle like a heavy weight I carry inside my heart...it\'s trying to strangle the life out of me. I keep get getting up trying to move forward in my life....but they (my four grandchildren) were the light in my life. I just wrote to my ED today for the second time in 10 months of complete rejection and silent treatment. I was pleading ( in a self respecting way I hope) for her to let me see my grandkids again. My father passed away two days ago and I need my family around me. With mothers day coming up I hope she will have a heart. I also chose being a wife and mother over a career or anything...they were my first priority...family meant everything to me! Your prayer is the same as mine...with one added plea to be able to continue my relationship with my grandchildren. I cannot walk away from them and if they had a choice they wouldn\'t want me to either. Praying for you friend...I understand how you feel.
This Mother\'s day will be hard on all of us. We carry our children in our hearts \"forever\", even when they reject us. I am having a \"low\" day too....and then, there\'s his birthday...always my heart will break. For over 30 years, I was mostly a \"mom\" and \"wife\"...and lost myself in the process of caring for everyone else. The hurt will be there for as long as I live...just a reaching out on his part would make all the difference in the world...and I wait. Reaching out to him has only been met with \"anger\" and \"resentment\" and seems to make matters worse....like all of you, we really never saw this coming as we were raising them..to be completely ignored once they grew up...Whatever happened to loving \"family\" unconditionally??? Hurting along with you. Miss my little grandbaby :(